i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
