You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
