that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
