end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
