drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
