You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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