I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
