omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
