I accidentally had phone sex last night
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
