Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
