she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
