Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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