I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize