i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
