Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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