I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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