I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
