needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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