I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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