I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i would one night stand the shit outta him
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
