I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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