i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
