yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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