I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
