did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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