I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
