I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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