Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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