I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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