definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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