i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
