how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
