You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize