Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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