We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
