so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
