True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I am naked and annoyed.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
