Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
