Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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