Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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