You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
