Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
