I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
