I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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