i permit you to call me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
