Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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