:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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