Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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