Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
