what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
