I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
