Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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