I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
