i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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