You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize