There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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