So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
