i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
