What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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