I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize