Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently you make a good broom.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
