Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he thought i was a dude.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
